Chet Collins

Barack Obama Pretends To Be Canadian While Traveling Abroad - The Onion

Personally, though, I try not to think too much about politics. I’m much more into hockey, Trailer Park Boys, and…uh…maple syrup.

A moment of quiet near the end of preparation.

I think it’s a sign of the spiritual sickness of a person to celebrate the death of an intellectual rival. Not an enemy, not a threat, someone who had a different philosophy or worldview.

What a perfect rejoinder that Sen. Graham’s little sister, whom he raised after the death of their parents, will finish his final term of public service.

The public transit agency breakdown for revenue is 16% from fares and 84% from taxes.

Dad’s Plan To Work At Home Foiled By People At Home - Babylon Bee

A sighing Kenny began working again, only for the internet to go down three minutes later when his toddler unplugged the router. Kenny had nearly fixed the router when his daughter came in, announcing that she had just been bitten by a snapping turtle down at the pond and needed to go to urgent care.

No mention of the queue.

Michigan in July without air conditioning is a lot like Texas in July with air conditioning.

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Happy Birthday, America!

American flag and bunting over a bridge.

T-34C parade flyover.

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James Bond Granted License To Kill Anyone With An Air Conditioner - Babylon Bee

“The world has changed, 007,” a spokesman for the British government explained. “The real villains aren’t hijacking nuclear submarines anymore. They are sitting in tiny flats, sipping room-temperature tea, and emitting hydrofluorocarbons. It’s monstrous.”

The Nationwide Backlash Against Cameras Watching Your Car - WSJ

Mayor Carmella Mantello said the technology has helped reduce crime and solve homicides, robberies and narcotics cases, plus recover missing persons and stolen cars.

That all sounds nice, but the problem is the entire system was built out without a debate in public. I’m glad we solve crimes, but at the cost of photographing and building a database of my movements around town that’s retained for a month?

Flock CEO Garrett Langley, an electrical engineer, co-founded the company after a series of break-ins in his Atlanta neighborhood. He said he supports state regulations and respects criticism and legal challenges from privacy groups. 

He reached the same conclusion that the Chinese Communist Party did: total surveillance for total security at the expense of liberty.

John Bolton Pleads Guilty To Failing To Store His Stolen Classified Documents In His Garage - Babylon Bee

…prosecutors said Bolton willingly and knowingly stored highly classified documents outside of his garage, where all classified documents should always be stored.

Weakling French Declare ‘Hottest Day Ever’ When It’s Only 40 Degrees - Babylon Bee

Facing weather that most Americans would take on with a hoodie, the pitiful French warned that hundreds of people across the country could perish.

Hard to think/work with a wood chipper outside my window.

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Trump Account App Will Launch Thursday — How It Will Work - WSJ

“The Trump Accounts app delivers a simple, secure way for households to begin engaging with a program designed to build long-term financial strength from day one,” Treasury Secretary Scott Bessent said in a statement.

I hate bills, programs, and products named after the politician trying to get the credit. 250 years of history, plenty of good material out there.

Pope Leo’s AI Manifesto - WSJ Opinion

Most fanciful is the pope’s claim that the mandarins at the United Nations should be entrusted with overseeing AI. He says they “are essential instruments for promoting a civilization of love, for they can foster dialogue among nations and promote the peaceful resolution of conflicts.” This is truly the triumph of hope over experience.

The Church does best when it remains laser focused on protecting the dignity of the human person. This commentary on the UN is entirely divorced from reality.

The UN was born out of Catholic intellectualism in the immediate aftermath of WWII but has failed to achieve its aims because it can’t stop itself from being hijacked by bad actor nation-states.

The Heartland Dads Redefining What It Means to Lead a Conservative Family - WSJ

These Heartland dads are rolling up their golf-shirt sleeves and getting spit up on. They’re doing things that would’ve given Don Draper heart palpitations—laundry, bath time, their daughters’ hair—while espousing fairly traditional views on religion, discipline and masculinity.

There’s work to be done, so it gets done. Not really a mystery that needs a long exposé.

Elon Musk Credits Trillionaire Status To Dave Ramsey Envelope System - Babylon Bee

According to sources, despite becoming a trillionaire, Musk still plans to stick strictly to the envelope system. “Nothing will change for Elon. It will still be starting each month by labeling envelopes ‘Groceries’ and ‘Leisure’ and dividing up the cash,” said Musk confidant Braxton Vickers. “The truth is, anyone could do what Elon did to become wealthy, but no one sticks to it like he does. It takes a lot of discipline to stay with it.”

VICTORY: Trump Secures Reopening Of Strait That Was Open Before War - Babylon Bee

At publishing time, Trump had announced that in another sign of complete victory, gas prices had fallen to just 50% higher than pre-war levels.

VS Day.